India's Top Ten Lawyers

Fali S Nariman, Soli J Sorabjee, Ram Jethmalani...


They are paid Rs 2-3 lakh for a five-minute appearance, upwards of Rs 25 lakh for a full day in court.


Why would anyone pay a lawyer that kind of money? 
Because a top-notch lawyer can save a corporate client hundreds, if not thousands of crores; he can save a person from a life in prison; and he can save a government from being unlawfully dismissed. 
More importantly, he can help change society and shape public opinion by the power of his logic and the magic of his court craft. 
http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=pastissues2&BaseHref=TCRM/2010/01/09&PageLabel=1&EntityId=Ar00101&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

Pune Cops Film Romancing Couples To Stop All Crimes

It cannot not get more ridiculous than this. 

In the last three days, Pune police filmed 50 couples romancing at 13 places.

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=MIRRORNEW&BaseHref=PMIR/2010/04/30&PageLabel=1&EntityId=Ar00100&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

Fun with Advertising

Probably one of the oldest archived ads.


"Advertising Ka Kamaal: 
An Academic Look at Advertising. Photos, Vintage Ads."
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Advertising-Ka-Kamaal-An-Academic-Look-at-Advertising/112210802146430

Times of India front page sold out to a billion hearts

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIPU/2010/04/28&PageLabel=1&ForceGif=true&EntityId=Ad00100&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

I can't believe this!

Some people are actually giving up something supposed to be coveted by every living being on earth : the American citizenship!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/26/us/26expat.html?src=me&ref=homepage

आयपीएल फायनल

‘चला, एकदाचा फायनलचा दिवस उजाडला.
मला वाटलं होतं च्यायला मीडिया आता आयपीएल बंद पाडूनच थांबणार बहुधा.’
‘वेडा आहेस का तू?
मीडियाला कोणतीही गोष्ट थांबवायची नसते, ती अधिकाधिक काळ चालवायची असते.’
‘अरे पण भीती वाटते ना!
 च्यायला आपण आपले हजारो कोटी गुंतवले; आणि आपल्या शब्दाखातर आपल्या मित्रांनी, नातेवाईकांनीही गुंतवले, सगळं शेकलं असतं आपल्यावर.’
‘तू पण  ना..!
करावे तसे भरावेचे दिवस संपले राजा!
आता करावे आणि बिनधास्त खिसे भरावे, हा नवा रुल आहे.
...बाकी साहेबांना मानलं आपण.
 जिथं तिथं नावं आली छापून फक्त आपली आणि कमाई मात्र साहेबांनी आपल्या एवढीच केली.’
‘हो, पण तुला ठाऊक आहेना, साहेब म्हणजे डिझास्टर मॅनेजर आहेत.
संकटकाळी बाहेर पडण्याचा मार्ग!
 ते त्याची किंमत वसूल करत असतात!’
...

http://loksatta.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=105&Itemid=118

Eastern Guru and Western Non-Disclosure Agreements

Rudyard Kipling will turn in his grave to see his 1892 declaration, "Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet"  suffer a fall. 
And how!


The professionally drafted Non-Disclosure Agreement  the sex scandal Swami Nityanand, 32,  from Bangalore made his devotees sign for his  ‘Learning from the Master Program',  will give the infamous American lawyers a run for their money.


Contents of the legal document at:


http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Godmans-flock-signed-sex-pacts-/articleshow/5846585.cms

Promoted to 'In-charge' of a non-existent police station in Pune!

Inspector M G Pathan was  happy when he was promoted & transferred to Pune eight months back,as an in-charge of the prestigious Koregaon Park area.
 He has a jeep, a driver and a constable at his beck and call, and a police station on paper : in reality, it does not exist! 
Hence, no staff, no jurisdiction.

The police-station is supposed to cover:

•  Kalyaninagar-Koregaon Park bridge to Alankar Cinema hall
•  Mula-Mutha rivers to Queens Garden
•  Boat Club Road, Dhole Patil Road, Mangaldas Road 
•  Bund Garden Road areas. 

So, as 11 investigating agencies descended on Pune to probe the German Bakery blast, Pathan was out scouring for space to set up his office.
http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=MIRRORNEW&BaseHref=PMIR/2010/04/24&PageLabel=1&EntityId=Ar00100&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

One and a half tonne of gold at home!

One tonne = 1000 kiloes
One  kilo   = 1000 grams
One gram of gold = Rs.1800


One and a half  tonne of gold,  Rs.1800 crores in cash, and other large investments were found at the residence of the chief of the Medical Council of India in a raid by the C(entral)  B(ureau of)  I(ndia).


The MCI governs all the medical colleges - both govt. and private - in India.
 It grants permission to open new ones, decides the number of seats, permits post- graduate courses, conducts regular inspections... in short, the MCI rules!


http://72.78.249.107/Sakal/25Apr2010/Normal/PuneCity/index.htm

Beautiful tigers on a stroll at Tadoba

Beautiful picture of tigers :a magnificent wild animal, now itself seriously endangered.


http://72.78.249.107/Sakal/24Apr2010/Normal/PuneCity/index.htm

Remember this face?

पाणी नाही, चारा नाही, वीज नाही

चंद्रपुर वीज निर्मितीचे सात पैकी ४ संच पाण्याअभावि बंद
गोसे धरणात गेली २२ वर्षे "काम सुरु आहे" पलिकडे प्रगती नाही.

• खामगावात १२ दिवसानी, बुलडाण्यात २४ दिवसानी एकदा पाणी येते.
• देउळगावराजा सम्पूर्ण गाव tanker वर अवलंबून.

... दै सकाळ

Will there be any doctors around when I grow old?

Aspiring doctors in Maharashtra have halved while engineers doubled, in just 6 years.

Year               Medical Students         Engineering Students

2004                   79,000                                  52,000
2010                   33,000                               1,05,000

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIPU/2010/04/22&PageLabel=15&EntityId=Ar01501&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

Kitchen in Myanmar, bedroom in India

The chief of  village Atanu Phukan Longwa,Nagaland, inhabited by tribe Konyaks, cooks his food in a kitchen which falls in Myanmar, while he sleeps in a room which is in India. 

 This remote village, divided into 2 nations, has been living in peace for years. 

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIPU/2010/04/20&PageLabel=14&EntityId=Ar01404&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

Love this FC road look

FC road wears a deserted look on Monday as the police imposed restrictions during President Patil’s visit to Fergusson college 

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIPU/2010/04/20&PageLabel=2&EntityId=Pc00209&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

जंगली महाराज व फर्ग्युसन रस्ते (पुणे) एकेरी केल्याबाबत, परिसर संस्थेने केलेल्या जनमत पाहणीचा अहवाल 

http://www.parisar.org/activities/other-activities/113-parisar-report-on-jm-fc-one-way-scheme.html

Chindia?

चीनमधील जगप्रसिद्ध, सात आश्‍चर्यांपैकी एक असलेल्या भिंतीवर,  काही जणांनी स्वतःची नावे मराठीत कायमची कोरून ठेवली  आहेत.



http://www.esakal.com/esakal/20100330/5199243981600249224.htm

Words fell me

Underlining twice doesn't make it a word


Are country and their country...


http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/galleries/teabonics_the_flawed_language_of_protest/teabonics_the_flawed_language_of_protest.html

Times of India, Crest edition

This TOI supplement (every Saturday) is a veritable feast.
Do check... back issues too.


http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Client.asp?Daily=TCRM&showST=true&Enter=true&Skin=CREST&GZ=T

India has more cellphones than toilets: UN

 Research shows roughly 366 million people (31 per cent of the population) in India had access to improved sanitation in 2008. 
Other data, meanwhile, shows 545 million cellphones are now connected to service in India’s emerging economy. 


“It’s an irony, a country now wealthy enough that roughly half of the people own phones, about half cannot afford the basic necessity and dignity of a toilet,” said Zafar Adeel, Director of United Nations University Institute for Water, Environment and Health. 


http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=MIRRORNEW&BaseHref=MMIR/2010/04/16&PageLabel=14&EntityId=Ar01401&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

आमच्या - literally - घरात फुलणारा सोनचाफा

माझे वजन आणि मी

अभिनन्दन,  डॉ. मुग्धा.


..."आधी व्यायाम तर दूरच, पण साधे १५ मिनिटे चालता पण येत नव्हते, खूप दम लागायचा. पायात गोळे यायचे. मनात ठरवले, वजनाचा आकडा विसरून जायचा पण आपलं शरीर आपल्या पायांना पेलवलं पाहिजे इतकेच ठरवायचं.
हळूहळू उत्साह वाढला. कमी होणाऱ्या वजनाबरोबर गमावलेला आत्मविश्‍वास परत आला. सहा महिन्यांत ३८ किलो वजन कमी केले. जेवण बंद न केल्याने अजिबात अशक्तपणा आला नाही.
९० किलोवरून ५२ किलोवर आले. 
२२ साईझच्या कपड्यांवरून ४ साईझवर आले.
माझे दोन्ही बाळंतपणानंतर मिळून एकूण ७६ किलो वजन कमी झाले आहे.
 व्यायामाने आणि जेवण न सोडता वजन कमी केल्याने शरीराच्या सर्व भागात ते समप्रमाणात कमी झाले आहे."...
http://www.esakal.com/esakal/20100412/5701033286536201617.htm

'Secularism in India' = ' लैंगिक (sexual) शिक्षण' ...
...translation for Marathi medium students, of a question paper, final exam, M. Ed., University of Pune.


http://72.78.249.107/Sakal/14Apr2010/Normal/PuneCity/page4.htm

Scales of Escalation

Bhosary (Pune) over-bridge status update:
 2008:        construction began; estimated cost - Rs  12 crore
 2010:  incomplete; sanctioned escalated cost - Rs 108 crore


http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=MIRRORNEW&BaseHref=PMIR/2010/04/13&PageLabel=2&EntityId=Ar00200&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

                                                    

Came across a bungalow actually named 'Dagad-Dhondaa दगड-धोंडा' on the outskirts of Pune.

कूकरची शिट्टी होऊ देऊ नका!
  शरद काळे, भाभा अणुसंशोधन केंद्र, मुंबई

 दैनंदिन जीवनात वैज्ञानिक दृष्टिकोनाचा अभाव जाणवतो.
विज्ञानाला  पुस्तकांमध्ये बंदिस्त करून ठेवल्यामुळे अनेक घोळ होतात.
केवळ अंधश्रद्धाच आपल्या समाजाचे नुकसान करीत आहेत असे नाही; तर वैज्ञानिक दृष्टिकोनाचा अभाव हेही तेवढेच किंवा त्यापेक्षाही अधिक  नुकसानकारक आहे.
.....
...प्रत्येक गृहिणीचा आडाखा हा शिट्टय़ांच्या संख्येशी निगडीत असतो. भातासाठी दोन, डाळीसाठी तीन, राजम्यासाठी चार किंवा अधिक शिट्टय़ा झाल्या की कूकर बंद केला जातो.
कधीकधी आठ-दहा शिट्टय़ासुद्धा होताना आढळतात.
पण ही पद्धत अतिशय अवैज्ञानिक आहे.
 ... कूकरची शिट्टी केल्यामुळे ही वाफ तिचे कार्य होण्याच्या आधीच बाहेर फेकली जाते व पुन्हा अधिक इंधन खर्च होऊन नव्याने वाफ बनते.
दुसऱ्या शिट्टीला पुन्हा ती वाफ वाया जाते!
असे होत होत शेवटी जो पदार्थ शिजतो त्यातील जीवनसत्त्वे, त्याला असलेला परिमळ हे हवेत निघून गेलेले असतात. आणि आपण हकनाक अधिक इंधन जाळलेले असते.
तेव्हा कूकरची शिट्टी होऊ देऊ नका!
http://loksatta.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=61077:2010-04-09-05-25-33&catid=194:2009-08-14-02-31-30&Itemid=194

....... रुग्णालयातर्फे जनसामान्यांना हात जोडून विनंती इतकीच की, आय.सी.यू.ची खाट हा स्टेटस् सिम्बॉल किंवा प्रतिष्ठेचा प्रश्न करू नका. 
रुग्णालय व्यवस्थापन कधी कधी आपल्या भावनांचा मान राखण्यासाठी वॉर्डातल्या आपल्या रुग्णाला आय.सी.यू.त हलवेलही, पण त्यामुळे दुसऱ्या एखाद्या गरजू रुग्णाचा अधिकार डावलला जाईल. 
तेव्हा रुग्णाला आय.सी.यू.मध्ये ठेवण्याचा निर्णय डॉक्टरांनाच घेऊ द्यावा, हे उत्तम!
आय.सी.यू. हे रुग्णालयाचे धडधडणारे हृदय आहे. 
अतिताणामुळे त्याला अॅटॅक न आला म्हणजे मिळवले!
                                 ---डॉ. संजय ओक, Chief of Surgery Dept,  KEM Hospital,  Mumbai

http://loksatta.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=61108:2010-04-09-08-54-27&catid=249:2009-12-30-13-44-34&Itemid=252 

Mumbai University forgot to print Accounts III question paper for the final exam of  TY- B.Com, for which 1,00,000 students were to appear.

An embarrassed university staff discovered on Friday evening that the paper, scheduled on Monday the 12th April, was not printed at all.

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2010/04/10&PageLabel=3&EntityId=Ar00301&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

Industry unhappy over lack of plans for 3G spectrum allotment scam
3G mobiles are expected to change the lives of common Indians

http://www.fakingnews.com/2010/04/industry-unhappy-over-lack-of-plans-for-3g-spectrum-allotment-scam/

पाटीच नसलेली, किंवा, पुढे वेगळी-मागे वेगळी पाटी असलेली पुणे म्युनसिपल बस कुठे जाणार ते ओळखा आणि बक्षीस मिळवा
http://72.78.249.107/Sakal/9Apr2010/Normal/PuneCity/PuneToday/index.htm

A matrimonial classified in daily Sakal

Quintessential Punekar.

Humble classifieds are literature unto themselves.
(Picture courtesy: self)

Mumbai apt sells @ Rs One Lac per sq ft in auction

Well, at Rs 99,000 per sq. ft, the rate's almost  a Lac.

The last highest transaction recorded was at Rs 97,842 p.sq.ft in 2007.

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIPU/2010/04/06&PageLabel=1&EntityId=Ar00108&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

गेल्या वर्षा दीड लाख नवीन वाहने पुण्यातील रस्त्यांवर दाखल

गेल्या वर्षात दीड लाख नवीन वाहने पुण्यातील रस्त्यांवर दाखल 
म्हणजे रोज जवळजवळ ५०० नवीन वाहनांची पुणे  RTO कड़े  नोंदणी होते. 
... दै. सकाळ
***
हा दर सुमारे गेली 10 वर्षे सतत कायम आहे. 

The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon
Baader-Meinhof is the phenomenon where one happens upon some obscure piece of information – often an unfamiliar word or name– and soon afterwards encounters the same subject again, often repeatedly. 


Anytime the phrase “That’s so weird, I just heard about that the other day” would be appropriate, the utterer is hip-deep in Baader-Meinhof.


http://www.damninteresting.com/the-baader-meinhof-phenomenon

Wikipedia definition:
A common name for a form of synchronicity where one happens upon an obscure piece of information, and soon afterwards encounters the same subject again.

25-year-old, US-returned, MBA girl gang-raped in car in Pune

I had decided against putting this news up here; but am too affected to not do it.

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Client.asp?Daily=TOIPU&showST=true&login=default&pub=TOI&Enter=true&Skin=TOINEW&GZ=T

Natural Root Bridges of Meghalaya, India

 

www.inhabitant.com

US General in Afghanistan

If an army marches on its stomach, General Stanley McChrystal,  who runs thirteen miles a day, eats one meal and sleeps for only four hours a night, would prefer that it wasn't full of burgers and pizzas.

He banned junk food yesterday.

In September, the General had banned alcohol at his headquarters, after complaining that too many staff had hangovers.

“Supplying non-essential luxuries to big bases like Kandahar makes it harder to get essential items to combat outposts and forward operating bases, where troops who are in the fight each day, need resupplying with ammunition, food and water.”

“This is a war zone, not an amusement park.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/afghanistan/article7080774.ece 

 

Pakistani Media: Exasperated Reporter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uujuL9KZeBA

This hilarious piece, circulating on the net, was supposedly written by a Dutchman - an IT guy - who spent two years in Hyderabad, India. 

Driving in India 

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring
to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. 

They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a
vehicle is only marginally safer.. 

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you
do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. 

The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road?
The answer is 'both'. 

Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. 

In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. 

Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess.

Simply trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed.
Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality.
Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction. 

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation,

the other drivers are not in any better position. 

Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. 

You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.
Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, 

but then, let us not talk ill of the dead. 

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. 

We honk to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), 

or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. 

Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage. 

Occasionally, you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking coloured lights and weird sounds emanating from within. 

This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at
breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success. 

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw
and an automobile. This three-wheeled vehicle works on an external 
combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote.
This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers
three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After
careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into
these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in
contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into
the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other
vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the
peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton 's
laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road
rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate. 

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like
an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels
at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a
ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they
would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are
often 'mopped' off the tarmac. 

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and
during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers
hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the
overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying
laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many
Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of
these buses by a width of three passengers. 

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in
their otherwise drab lives.. Don't stick to the literal meaning and
proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you
cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in
reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. 

Lest I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and
fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a
'speed breaker'; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers
the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for
easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to
recover the pipe for year-end accounting. 

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for
those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like
playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the
drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns
out to be 
a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly
into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. 

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink
your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is
the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at
the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a
naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to
kill. 

Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet
above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching
you With a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right
one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point
posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.
During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers
will never show any Signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals;
they are the greater threat). 

Only, you will often observe that the cleaner who sits next to the
driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely
not to Be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just an
statement of physical relief on a hot day. 

If, after all this, you still want to drive in India , take your lessons
between 8 pm and 11 am - when the police have gone home and - The citizen
is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in the
constitution.

http://www.mail-archive.com/better_personality@googlegroups.com/msg00056.html 

Fastest circulating SMS in Pune in March (39 degrees C) '10

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